Some people say that crying is a sign of weakness.
But some things happen in our lives when all we need is a good cry. It takes away all the hurt, and the pain, and the grief.
I used to cry a lot when I was much younger. I'd stay in a corner and silently shed those tears to sleep. I wasn't much of a fighter when I was a kid. I wouldn't really say I was a wimp either. I was one of those people who simply wanted to make everyone happy.
High school and college toughened me. I simply stopped crying. No matter how hard things were in my life, I refused to shed a tear. I just kept it all in. I'd write long entries in a journal I had back then to voice out all my angst. BUT no one ever saw me cry. NOT even my closest friends. NOT even my family.
THEN I went to medical school. When the challenges we had to face were FAR greater than anything in our young lives. When residents and consultants would eat us alive. When patients and bantays would exasperate us to our limits. When the workload simply sucked the energy and life out of us. When the pressure was just TOO much. I still didn't cry then. I'd say a prayer, and face the world with a smile.
BUT then something happened. I fell in love.
That's when I allowed myself to FEEL once again. I became emotional. I'd cry over some silly fight. I'd cry over a frustrating patient. I'd cry when I no longer knew what to do. I'd cry over problems in my life. I'd cry during the boards.
I only allow myself to shed a tear in front of one particular person in my life. AND he hates it when I do.
Coz now that I'm much older, I'll never be that vulnerable enough to wear my heart on my sleeve... And show the world how I truly feel.
I'm sorry if I have to do cry once in a while. There are times when all I need is a hug and a pat in the back. And a good cry.