In a matter of days, God has poked, superpoked, nudged and pinched ME.
(Lahat na.)He has been changing, honing and molding me.
We had two weddings over the weekend. Our friends from medschool decided to settle down and start a life together. It was surreal... but definitely a celebration of love. I super love weddings. There's always that glow in the newlyweds that touch my heart beyond measure. I can't wait for that special day when I'm finally walking down the aisle.
*wishful thinking*However, along with celebrations, and reunions with friends we haven't seen for so long come news of loss.
Two of my closest friends encountered losses far too great for human understanding. Their pain is incomprehensible, and beyond anything I could even fathom.
I feel for them. I cannot understand their pain, but I fully emphatize as a friend and as someone who loves them dearly. Details of which are too personal to share -- but nevertheless, the circumstances are devastating as can be.
Maybe God placed me here to be there for them. Lately, things seem to happen to people close to me. (Strange but true.) Maybe I'm here for a reason. Even my family needs me as well, and Stel.
Being around people who truly know me, have made me accept and realize that my problems aren't as great as I think they are. I am still better off than a million people in the world -- and my worries are insignificant and are not as impossible as they seem.
I know that each day is a work in progress. I know that sleeping at night and waking up with a smile each day hasn't been easy. I thank people who have been messaging me asking me what's up. Things are currently too complicated to explain. I am in a myriad of emotions that coast from happy to sad in a matter of days.
The Christmas preparations have helped me cope in some way. I have never wrapped that much gifts in my entire life -- and I know that satisfaction I see in my family's faces is enough for me. It's ironic that I know for a fact that no matter how many gifts I wrap, I will never see a package under the tree for me.
(Self-pity there).Stel will be spending Christmas in Naga with his family. We're spending Christmas at home as we usually do. The family is now in Baguio -- where we usually are this time of the year. Reunions and get-togethers abound. Friends from overseas have come home to visit.
Good or bad, I know that the most important things in the world are free : family, love and friendship. And whatever way I look at it, I may be one of the luckiest people in the world because I am rich in all three.
And that figures why I cannot find a gift under the tree with my name on it.
Because my gifts are already with me. :-)
Have a cold and merry Christmas!
