Thinking Aloud

I'm supposed to be 'helping' someone with his research paper - and although I have absolutely no idea what the topic is all about, I seem to get by, and I am able to come up with a passable manuscript. But I've been lazy... so as it's almost the end of the night, and I await the latest episodes of GG and Prisonbreak, I choose to delve in some senseless insecurities - before I tackle the task at hand. I'm weird that way.

The past days have been a whirlwind of activities, birthday celebrations, reunion dinners, a bridal shower. I just came from one last night - and I know I can't help but be excited for the bride and groom, I feel all the more hesitant to settle down anytime soon. Sometimes I worry that I have some lofty unachievable dreams, even my vision of the wedding day itself is too ambitious, that I don't know if I'm ready to SETTLE for anything less just yet. *Sigh*

I just hate how some insecurities and pre-judgments of people always seem to creep in at the most unexpected times. I guess it just makes you realistic enough to know that there are just some people you'll NEVER get along with, no matter how hard you try. It just is. Some people I meet for less than an hour, and I feel like we've been friends for so long. But there are just some that I meet fairly regular, but I never get through them - and someone not making eye contact with me makes me feel uncomfortable. I try and try to be interested and to reach out, but I guess this person just has her guards all high up there - that no matter how hard I try, we'll never see eye to eye, even in the literal sense of the word. I don't think I've ever met anyone who makes me feel that uncomfortable. Strange but true. I wonder why I even let her get to me. It just makes relating to her all the more difficult. Every single time. And she's not even worth wasting my time and energy on.

I have no idea why the thought of boys and a stag party always gets my nerves on overdrive. I think it's that trust issue once again - and the thought of betrayal. Always of betrayal. I don't think I'll ever get over it. Somehow, I always expect someone to betray me. I know it's so unfair and pessimistic, but I do. I've been burned so many times in the past, that I would rather not find myself in a vulnerable situation. I always try to take things in stride, and I act like I don't care at all - when sometimes I really do.

I hate being this much of a thinker. It's been awhile since I allowed myself to have such negative thoughts. And now that it's all out and done with, it's time to realign myself once again.

It's time for a scoop of Sebastian's Macadamia White (which is the only ice cream I'm willing to give up ALL desserts for). And it's time to get back to work.

A storm's coming tomorrow night. Sheesh.

Happy thoughts please.

A Watched Pot

You know what they say about a watched pot? That it never boils?

Sigh. I've been WAITING and WAITING and WAITING for my official exam results to arrive by snail mail - but it's been a month since it was sent from Australia, and I'm still WAITING for the mail man to deliver it to me.

You know how it feels to have your foot almost near the door? Yet you still can't get through the door, but you see it?

I've WAITED this long, and I pray each day that He gives me the patience and the strength to go through everything.

I KNOW I'm almost there. It might just be a case of 'Be CAREFUL What You Wish For.'

Heck, I might be excited, and counting the days, and preparing like crazy. But I know that when the day comes when I know exactly WHEN I'M LEAVING - it will all sink in.

Then I'd wish I had MORE TIME.

So I guess I should just COUNT MY BLESSINGS (Thank YOU, Lord!) and ENJOY the additional time I have here. He's giving me TIME.

But hey, I still wish IT would come soon. Mailman, please? :)

To my one and only sister...

I remember when we were kids, and we'd fight and bicker like there's no tomorrow. When conversations would involve banging of the doors (whoever was loudest), or shouting matches from the second floor to the first. Haha.

Back then, I knew you had it in you to be SUCCESSFUL in WHATEVER you put your heart into. I really don't know how you could convince ME - and I was three years older than you.

But we grew up to LOVE each other dearly. I am doubly grateful and thankful that I have YOU as my sister, my confidante, my shopping buddy, my 'bank,' my never-ending source of comfort and encouragement, and my BEST FRIEND.

Thousands of miles will separate us soon, but through it all, I know our BOND will never FAIL us.

Always remember to LIVE for the MOMENT. Life passes us by so quickly, that sometimes we think of the TOMORROW, more than we think of the TODAY.

A happy, happy, happy BIRTHDAY dear SISTER!

Joyeux Anniversaire.

So much will change in the next few months. This will definitely be OUR YEAR.

I LOVE YOU. Always.

Love,
Achi

For YOU, A thousand times over

If there's a book or a movie EVERYONE should read/see, it's THE KITE RUNNER.

Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

These are the people I can say that to.
For YOU, a THOUSAND times OVER.

There's a Starbucks, where?

I was on my way to work as a school physician somewhere in the East when I thought that classes were off since there weren't any cars/school buses around the school gates. The custodian met me at the gate telling me that there were no students around - so I thought of going to SM Taytay which was near the school, to get myself some lunch before heading back home. I haven't given up my position there yet, since they're willing to wait as I complete my papers - and 2 hours twice a week isn't much of a hassle.

The SM Taytay complex was composed of two NEWLY constructed buildings, and I was glad that parking wasn't a problem because there was hardly anyone in the area. The place was barely a year old - so everything was fairly NEW. There were the usual Jolibee, Mcdonalds, Chowking, Greenwich, Tokyo Tokyo, French Baker, Red Ribbon, Reyes Barbeque (which I was craving for), and Max's. It actually had a Dairy Queen - which was one of the first branches they established when they reopened with their new franchise. (I don't think there's a KFC there though.) I also liked the fact that the department store was well-stocked with most of the merchandise (and the sizes) since mall traffic wasn't that much. And there were only a few shoppers around.

But what surprised me out of everything -- was seeing that green and white sign with the mermaid, and the familiar looking green umbrellas.

I never thought I'd see the day when there was a Starbucks branch past Libis! Seriously. I always told myself that it would NEVER happen. The nearest branch to our place in Ortigas was 10minutes away, on a good day (Tiendesitas). After the whole fiasco of putting up a Price Smart right beside our village, we knew that this side of town wasn't the spot for such a place.

Well, until today.

I was surprised to see a barista I knew from Greenhills Ibank way back in 2005 assigned there. And they had ample chairs and tables, plus a really big and nice bathroom.

A familiar face and a familiar place, on that side of town. Yey.

Now I had more motivation to drive all the way to Antipolo for work. Because on those days when I was lazy to head out to Ortigas, I'd still have my Starbucks fix.

It's been days since I had my Iced Venti 2% Caramel Macchiato. And today, it made my day.

PS. Hmm.. Starbucks all over the world is streamlining, or closing down half their branches, but it's the opposite here. They're actually mass-hiring from what I hear. Shucks. I don't think we're ready for a barrage of stores considering our economy. And I don't think that sends such a good message to our countrymen.

ADDICTED!!

What is your major addiction?

The computer
[x] I spend hours at a time on the computer.
[x] Without the computer, life would not be the same.
[x] I depend so much on my computer, if it broke down, I would cry.
[x] I have so many pictures, files, games & other things saved on my computer.
[x] I have my own computer, & it is in my room.
[x] I buy stuff online frequently.
[x] When I have homework or other responsibilities, I tend to go on the computer instead.
[x] I have been late to something because I couldn't get off the damn computer.
[] My parents always say that they're 'going to take away my internet' because they know that would be the ultimate punishment.
Total: eight

Online chat/phone
[x] I have spent more than 6 hours talking on the phone.
[ ] My phone is practically attached to my ear.
[x] I have gone to sleep extremely late because I was up all time talking on the phone.
[ ] My cell phone bill is too high.
[] If my MSN/AIM/Yahoo, etc. won't allow me to sign in, I go crazy.
[] I have over 200 online buddies.
[xI met good friends, or even my best friend, online.
[] I meet people in person that I met on the internet, complete strangers.
[ ] I spent more time in chatrooms than I do with my own family/friends.
[ ] I rather chat online than by phone, e-mail, or in person.
Total: three.

Magazines/books
[x] I am ALWAYS reading something.
[ ] I have 100 + magazines.
[] I buy more than 3 magazines every month.
[ ] I am subscribed to more than 3 magazines.
[ ] I am soon going to run out of space to put all my magazines!
[ ] When my mom threatens that she's going to thrown out my magazines, I yell & tell her that I'm keeping them forever!
[x] Reading is way more fun than watching TV.
[x] I want to write a book.
[ ] I spend more money on books/magazines than I do on clothes every month.
Total: three.

Music
[x] Without music, my life would be miserable.
[x] It seems that I'm always humming or singing something.
[ ] I like every type of music.
[ x] My mp3 player/iPOD has over 1000 songs.
[x] Not to mention the huge amount of songs I have on my computer.
[ ] I have 200+ CD's.
[x] Music cheers me up, makes me happy, relieves my stress.
[x] Whatever mood I'm in, I can always listen to some music.
[ ] I am/want to be in a band.
[ ] I lost count of how many concerts I've been to.
Total: six.

Movies
[ x] I see at least 4 movies in theatres per month.
[ ] I have so many DVD's, I don't know where all of them are!
[ ] I have a DVD player in my room, that I use often.
[ ] I buy every movie that I really like.
[ ] I keep all my movie stubs.
[x] I am always quoting things from movies.
[ x] I can list 20 of my favorite movies right now.
[x] I watch the Oscars religiously.
[ ] Movies are better than TV shows & music put together.
[ ] I have over 5 favorite actors & over 5 favorite actresses.
Total: four.

Make-up, hair & other girly things
[x ] I straighten/curl/crimp my hair every day.
[ ] I don't remember how my own natural hair color looks unless I look at old pictures.
[x] I have so much make-up, I don't even use half of it.
[ ] I have more than 5 eyeliners, 5 eyes shadow palettes & 5 lip glosses.
[ ] I wear bows, hairbands, ribbons, etc. in my hair.
[ x] I get my hair cut more than once every 3 months.
[ ] I LOVE pink, anything pink is good!
[ ] Flowers are awesome, as well as chocolate, jewelry & designer clothes.
[ ] Accessories are actually more important to me than my clothes!
[x] I have more than 5 purses.
Total: four

Television
[x] I watch at least 5 shows per day.
[ ] I spend more than 5 hours watching TV every day.
[x] I am addicted to some shows.
[x] If I miss an episode of my favorite show, I'll freak out.
[ x] I watch TV before I go to sleep.
[ ] My alarm clock is my TV.
[ ] I have seen every MTV show at least once.
[] I have more than 500 channels on my TV.
[ ] I use picture-in-picture.
[x] During commercials, I flip to other channels to watch something else.
Total: five

Sports
[ ] I watch sports every day.
[ ] I have been on a sports team more than 5 times.
[ ] I play sports any chance I get.
[ ] I am very athletic & fit.
[ ] I work out all the time.
[ ] I also walk, run, bike, or swim on a regular basic (as a way of exercising).
[ ] I have a favorite basketball, soccer, baseball, etc. player as well as favorite teams.
[ ] I like to be outside way more than staying inside.
[ ] I don't mind getting sweaty or breaking a nail.
[] No, I'm not girly.
Total: none.

Food
[ ] I am in love with chocolate.
[ ] I will eat anything once.
[x] I always eat when I'm bored, stressed, watching TV, etc.
[ ] I don't care about my weight, all I want to do is eat!
[x] I have tried Mexican, Italian, Chinese, Thai, Indian, as well as other kind of dishes.
[ ] I don't have many foods that I dislike.
[ ] I like going to parties or other gatherings for the food!
[ ] My friends say I'm a pig when it comes to food.
[ ] I cannot go to the mall without eating something at the food court.
[ ] Snacking is my favorite pastime.
Total: two

Going out/friends
[ ] I go to tons of parties every year.
[x] I have more friends than I can count.
[ ] If someone invites me to go somewhere, I don't care what mood I'm in, I'm going!
[ ] Movie theatres, amusement parks & malls are among my favorite places.
[ x] I hate staying in, I rather be out 24/7.
[ ] The computer is cool, but partying is so much better!
[x] My friends & I do crazyyy things!
[ ] I cannot pay attention in class because I'm always chatting with friends or thinking about what I'm gonna do that night.
[ ] Work? Who has time for a job when you can hang out with your friends instead!
Total: three.

Shopping/clothes
[ x] I go shopping at least twice a week.
[x] I don't care how many shoes or accessories I have, I always need more!
[x ] There's always more room in my closet for more clothes.
[x ] I follow fashion/trends.
[ x] I have 10 or more pairs of jeans.
[x] I have 30+ shoes.
[x ] The mall = best place ever!
[x ] I spend money like nothing else.
[x] I can't just 'hang' at the mall, I have to buy something!
[] I want a job at my favorite store so I can get discounts & go shopping after work!
Total: nine

Bad things
[ ] I steal/shoplift frequently.
[ ] I smoke cigarettes every day.
[ ] I smoke something other than cigarettes regularly.
[ ] I have gone to school/work high or drunk.
[ ] I get drunk when I'm with friends & then do stupid things.
[ ] I have done sexual things under the influence.
[ ] I curse ALL the time.
[ ] I fight with people constantly.
[ ] I have been arrested.
[ ] I am banned from 2 or more places.
Total: zero.

Well, obviously, I'm a SHOPPING addict. The computer comes in a close second.

Happy Birthday MOTHER. :)

A great big BIRTH-day to my dearest MAMA.
Without whom, I'd be NOTHING.
I love you!

To SPA or not to SPA at AHAVIA

Reception

Ahavia SPA opened months ago in San Juan. Being a stone's throw away from Stel's place of work, he's frequented the spa for their pressure point massages which were very affordable at p199. Seriously, he's addicted to them. He tries to go at least once a week, as frequent as I get my weekly alternate mani-pedi-change color at the Nail Loft. I'd join him during the weekends when I'd get the chance, and I'd usually get a footspa (p199) or an express hand/foot massage (p199). How can you go wrong with that? :) I never tried their hair treatments again though, after all that stress months ago when I first visited (Read my earlier review) but I was assured then that they already had a hairdryer. Haha. Yey!

Express Area

I've always been hesitant to have full body massages. I don't know if it's the fact that I feel queasy to have a stranger touch my body (sounds bad I know), or the fact that I'm just finicky, that I hate all the effort I put into dressing up - and then changing out of it, only to get my hair messy or my clothes crumpled. I think it's a bit of both. Hence, most of the time Stel and I spa together, I usually have feet treatments, while he has his hour long massages. If he were to choose, he'd actually have a massage every other day if it was possible. Indulgent much? Well, to each his own right?

For some reason, I decided to have a stress relief full body massage today. I chose to try out the ANTI-STRESS THERMAL THERAPY (p599 - 1hour and 30minutes) described to use alternating effects of 'hot' massage oils (menthol-like), which would later have a cooling effect. It was described so much better in the spa menu (I failed to copy the exact description), and anything that was anti-stress was always worth a try. Stel chose to combine his usual Point Pressure Therapy (p199 - 1hour), with an Oriental Ritual Massage (p299 - 1hour).

Massage Area

Couple's Suite

I've never had a full-body massage at Ahavia - but the heavens must have been cooperating with me today (despite the heavy downpour) because I was treated to one of the best massages I've ever had in my life. No kidding.

It starts out with a stretching routine, in prone position (on your belly). The massage oil used initially felt warm to the skin, would later cool off due to evaporation. I think it's the combination of the change in temperature which actually soothed all my aches and pains. It felt like 'Vicks vaporub' in oil form, rubbed all over the body in very distinct and gentle motions (for lack of a better description). I love how the therapist (Anna) concentrated on my calves, neck, upper and lower back, and her hands were so amazing, that you could hardly see me flinch or tense my muscles because of pain. One of the reasons why I don't really like body massages is because my muscles are always so tender, that even the lightest hands cause me to writhe in pain. Seriously. Stel just gets annoyed at how I'd always tell the therapist to stop or be gentler because I couldn't take the pain. But today was different. Honestly, I've finally found the RIGHT PRESSURE for my aching muscles. I couldn't really explain how the alternating hot and cold felt - how I'd feel one part of my body cool, while another part was still warm. I think it was that sensation that relaxed me.

After experiencing (and being aware) an hour and a half long massage, choosing an hour-long massage was indeed too short. You'd leave still wanting more, and you'd definitely feel short-changed. We weren't aware of that until today, when we timed the massage, and noticed how happy we both were after the ritual. Stel's two hour massage was great too. The combination of the Pressure Point Massage with the Oriental Ritual removed his bothersome lower back pain he's had for over a month. Ang galing.

Cheers and kudos to our therapists - Anna and Dianne. We'll definitely ask for them the next time we visit. They're one of the best we've experienced ever. We're both quite difficult to please, so that must mean something.

Despite the CRAZY rains which flooded the whole Metro - which surprised us when we stepped out of the spa, nothing could dampen our happy spirits. Not discounting the fact that it was literally like the floodgates of heaven opened and poured out their entire supply of water for months on us. And not discounting the fact that it's 2am, and it took me two hours to get home from Stel's place, and I'm still up writing this entry.

Maybe because I don't want to forget the 'fresh-from-the-spa' sensation? I could still feel the oils working wonders on my back as I write this (and I had the treatment about 8 hours ago). If that doesn't make you want to head out and try the Anti-Stress Thermal therapy massage, I don't know what will.

Give it a try, won't you?

Hmm.. now, paano na when I leave? Who will do my nails and give me massages? Haha. *sigh* Mahal dun.

Ahavia Lounge Spa
173 Wilson St corner Barcelona St, Greenhills, San Juan.
7440343
11am to 3am

Of Weddings and such

I've come to love weddings. I actually didn't when I was younger and I had to worry about what dress to wear, and there were hardly any formal dresses for plus-sized girls like me. But in this day and age, wedding attire has evolved, and my love for clothes has brought me more options to 'formalize' some party clothes - to make it good enough for weddings.

Stel and I have attended a number of weddings since we started dating. I guess the fact that we're in our marrying age, explains why most of our friends are tying the knot. Seriously. We've actually even missed a few weddings because some were on the SAME day - and some venues were out of town and we didn't have time to travel that far.

And since we've been together for awhile, we're always asked the same question : When will yours be? Or kayo na next?

Honestly, seeing more and more ceremonies, makes me LOVE the idea of a wedding - but it just makes me dread all the seriousness that a marriage entails. I guess sometimes people get all caught up in the 'fun' a wedding brings, or the pressure to tie the knot (just because you've been together for awhile), that they forget the SANCTITY and the MATURITY a marriage requires.

Getting married is SERIOUS. It's not something to be jumped into, because everyone around you IS. It's NOT a bandwagon you choose to ride, and jump off when things aren't up to your expectations. It's not a matter of running after age or time. It's all about finding the RIGHT TIME for both of you. It's about being somewhat emotionally, spiritually, financially and psychologically READY to share your life with someone else, for the rest of your life. Now, if that doesn't bring me back to reality that MARRIAGE is for keeps, then I don't know what will.

I remember how couples who've been married for more than 25 years always say that the SECRET to a lasting marriage is the thought that DIVORCE should NEVER be an OPTION. Ever. If it was God-ordained, then the biblical portrait of a marriage is 'Till Death DO you part. It's that SERIOUS.

I'm not writing this out of spite, or out of a need to address all those burdening questions. Haha. When people ask us when we're getting married, we always say that OUR TIME WILL COME. And the time still isn't NOW.

It will come. It will be in His time. There's no use rushing things, just because. There's no use succumbing to the pressures, because these people will not be part of our marriage. They may enjoy our wedding, and they may take part in it - but at the end of the day, it will be between me and Stel, and God.

And as of today, God is telling us to WAIT. And yes, WAIT we will. Together.

PS. Do you know that the current statistic for failed marriages is 1 out of 3?
Obvious bang I'm NOT YET ready? Hahaha.

A license to SHOP

Oh to be a 29 year old, licensed driver (finally!), stuck at home -- with places to go, but without any extra money for gas.
I wouldn't even spare a 100 to drive myself 5 kilometers from the house. No-no-no. Haha.
Oh to be dependent. Haha. Woe is me.

Oh well, since it's countdown time and I know THAT much awaited time can come ANYTIME soon, God is giving me MORE time here - to spend with Stel, my family, and friends, and say my proper goodbyes. And prepare MYSELF in all aspects.

But you know the most 'mababaw' and the BEST thing out of it all?

I can go SHOPPING for a REASON now. JUSTIFIED. Finally. Haha.

HELLO to office attire, smart casual, closed shoes and work-looking bags. (Dorothy Perkins, Debenhams, Marks and Spencer, Aerosoles, Melissa) And say hello to the four seasons, and that just means MORE clothes. Yes, yes I know. I have most of those in stock -- but LEAVING gives me a LICENSE to buy MORE. Read : It's more expensive there, so my friends who are already there advised me to do my shopping here FIRST. If that doesn't make my ears clap nor make my face light up, I don't know what will. *Yey!!*

Now, on to the next problem. Where do I find the cash for shopping? Everyone knows that preparations are under way, which prompted me to give up my duties at the hospital to someone else. And that just means I've been rather unemployed (well, just partly employed) for the past three months. Doesn't that even explain why I'm leaving? Oh to be a dependent doctor in our crazy world.

So I'm calling out to my 'sponsors' (you know who you are).
PS. Yes, I finally got the Melissa Black Glam Lace. Thanks Stelly!! :p

Come on, let's GO SHOPPING!! Take me please?!!

Tagged by Sister (Weird Stuff)

RULE:

Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about himself/herself. People who got tagged need to write a blog entry of their own 6 weird things. They should as well state the rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

I've answered this awhile back. But I know I'll always find something WEIRD to say about myself.

1. I can NEVER use my hands to eat - be it shrimps, crabs, chicken wings or any other finger food.

2. I have this weird 'gag' reflex when I wake up in the morning. Always. Especially when I'm anxious or nervous about something,

3. I don't BUTTER my bread.

4. I always have to have background noise - it may be the TV, the noisy coffeeshop, the droning of the aircon. I can NOT work in total silence. The sound of silence actually stresses me out.

5. This is a 'magastos' trait - but I always WANT to get two colors of anything (clothes or shoes) that fits me. Feeling prinsesa. Feeling lang. Since it's so hard to find my size, it becomes sort of a bad habit : but I'm starting to try to get over it. I'm a hoarder by nature. Hehe. (Okay this is a guilty confession).

6. It takes me at least an hour before I fall asleep. And I always wake up two to three times the whole night. It's weirder for me if I sleep through the night, and I wake up to find that it's morning already.

I'm tagging ANYONE.